


I am NOT Your Sidekick!

by lovethecrazypeople



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Blood and Violence, Eventual Smut, F/M, Graphic Description, Slow Burn, Thorin is kind of an asshole in this, x Reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:41:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23651770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovethecrazypeople/pseuds/lovethecrazypeople
Summary: An Alternate Universe where magic is wide spread and used by many. Thorin Oakenshield is passing through a small town on his way home when he picks up a girl with snark to rival his own and an appetite to be the worst she can while traveling with Thorin.
Relationships: Thorin Oakenshield/Reader, Thorin Oakenshield/You
Kudos: 10





	I am NOT Your Sidekick!

**Author's Note:**

> There's a lot of dialogue in this, sorry. :)

_Mud. So much mud._

Thorin trudges through the mud as a group of squealing children run past him, feet bare, with fistfuls of mud and sticks. Each step he takes has him sinking into the ground, but he needs to stop into town to gather a few things for the journey ahead, the marketplace only being a few blocks ahead.“I am _sick_ and _tired_ of you, you rat! All you do, all day long, is bother me, you nuisance!” 

“Oh, am I really so bad, sweet teacher dear?” Thorin turns around to see a young girl, also barefoot, being dragged behind a rather robust red-faced woman. 

“I hate to have to do this, but you leave me no choice!”

“Oh, what are you going to do, are you going to whip me? Send me to the gallows? You’re pathetic and a coward, you _whore_.” The woman backhands the girl, sending her sprawling to the mud, the crack of her hand against the girls cheek drawing eyes to the scene. 

“Excuse me, ma’am?” Thorin approaches the woman, who still has a firm grip on the girl's arm. “What is happening, if I may ask? Because you’re drawing quite the scene.” The woman huffs and looks around her, glaring at those who look back, before forcefully ripping her hand away from the girls arm. 

“Punishment, sir. Little bitch has us all bouncing off the walls, no respect for her elders, none.” Thorin looks past the woman’s shoulder and to the girl, who is currently pushing herself up off of the muddy ground. 

“I see,” He says in agreement. “If I may offer a bit of advice, from someone who has been in your situation before, send her off to work. Where I’m from, children who need to be taught get sent off to learn from their mistakes.” The girl’s eyes widen at that and she hastily stands, wiping the mud off her hands and onto the fabric of her skirt.

“You know what, ma’am? I’m sorry, for you causing you all that trouble, I mean. Really, I didn’t mean it, and I think that we can resolve this situation by apologizing to one another, don’t you think?” Another swift backhand to the face. 

“You want her to be taught so bad?” The woman spits, “Fine, then you can take her.” The girl is again grabbed by her arm and shoved at Thorin before the woman storms away, a scowl of her face. The girl, who has now covered Thorin in mud, huffs. 

“What a bitch, am I right? Thanks for getting me out of that situation, sir. I really appreciate it.” You turn and try to walk away only to get stopped by a hand on your shoulder. 

“I wasn’t joking when I said that those who do not respect their teachers get sent off.” The girl’s eyes widen. “What’s your name?” The girl doesn’t say anything. He grips her shoulder tighter. “I asked you a question, and you will respond to your teacher.”

“..(Y/N).” Thorin lets go of your shoulder. 

“See, wasn’t that easy, (Y/N)?”

“I’m not a child,” You spit. 

“I’m Thorin, but you will refer to me as sir, understood?” You don’t say anything. “I asked you a question.”

“..Yes sir.” 

“Good. It’s lovely to meet you, (Y/N).” 

“Fuck you.” Thorin grabs your hand and gives it a a sharp strike to the wrist. “Ow, you dick, that hurt!”

“Lesson one. Don’t talk back to your teacher, understand?” You glare at him. Thorin responds with another slap to the wrist. 

“Yessir, I understand sir.” 

“Good, come with me.” He turns on his heel and starts walking off in the direction of the marketplace. 

“You know that I could just leave right?” 

“You won’t.” You growl at that. _Damn him_. You begrudgingly start to walk forward, scowling at the back of his head, when a sack of coins hits the ground in front of you, splashing more mud up your legs. 

“Lesson two, learn to catch, dumbass.” He’s looking at you, and you fight back the urge to spit something witty, instead picking up the coins from the ground. 

“What’s this for? Am I you’re new delivery boy?” Thorin chuckles. 

“I just thought that you would like a new pair of shoes, we have a long way ahead of us.” You stare at him for a second, perplexed. “I can take the money back if you want-”

“No! No, this is fine.” 

“That’s what I thought.” Thorin turns back around and starts walking, this time with you in tow. 

“You’re really arrogant, you know that right?” 

“I’m beginning to see why your teacher kicked you out of school. You know that you’re education is a privilege, right? Some children don’t get the chance to learn how to read and write.” You enter the marketplace, almost lost in the sudden swarm of people. “What were you going to school for, for you to disrespect your teachers so?” You look at him inquisitively. 

“Magic.” Thorin suddenly stops and grabs your face by the chin, forcing you to look up at him. 

“Do not joke about such things, _child_. Magic is an abomination. If I hear you speak of it again, you will be dumped off to the side of the road with nothing to fend for yourself, do you understand me?” You frown, trying not to let him see the tears welling up in your eyes from the force of his grip. 

“I’m not a child.” His grip tightens. “Yessir, I understand, sir.” He looks you dead in the eyes for a second more before grabbing you by the hand, yanking you through the crowd of people and to the cobbler across the way. 

“Here,” Thorin throws you in front of the shop keep. “Get your shoes.” 

“Um.” You look between Thorin and the shop keep who is looking at you expectantly. “I’ve- I’ve never bought shoes before.” Thorin looks at you and then sighs, crossing his arms. 

“What size do you wear?”  
“I don’t know.” He sighs again, deeper this time, while the shop keep begins to look cross.

“Little lady, I’ve got other customers I must attend to. If you wanna get yer shoes, you gotta come to the back to I can measure ya.” You bite your lip, and then look at Thorin, who just sighs and waves you on. 

“Alright.” You step behind the counter and the shop keep looks at your muddy feet. 

“There’s a rag back there. Feet gotta be clean before they’re measured.” You suddenly feel very self conscious about the state of you, and you quickly shuffle to the back and out of sight of the mean shop keep and that bastard Thorin. 

“Hello there! Come to get measured?” You look up, meeting eyes with a rather soft looking woman. You feel yourself start to relax at the presence of her, only to tense up again when you remember your muddy feet. 

“I, um, yeah. The shop keep said that I have to clean my feet first.” The lady looks over the table and sees you trying to hide your feet under your dress. 

“Oh, that’s okay sweetheart! Come, right this way.” She stands and ushers you to follow her. You do, reluctantly, and see that she’s taking a pot of water off of a fire. “Sit! Sit down.” You sit on the stool she gestured to and she sits in front of you with a rag in hand. 

“I can wash them myself,” You say, cringing as she dips the rag in the water and starts to scrub at your feet.  
“Oh, don’t worry about it! I do this everyday.” You don’t say anything after that, and the silence starts to grow unbearable. 

“Hey, um, is there a way around the back that I can go?” The lady looks up from your feet.

“Why dear, is something wrong?”

“No, it’s just, um - an old boyfriend, of mine, um, saw me in the crowd and I kind of am trying to avoid him.” The lie falls off your tongue sloppily, but the lady seems to believe it for a second when-

“An old boyfriend, huh?” You flinch, jerking forward in your seat. 

“Thorin! For fucks sake!” He flicks the back of your head.

“Language. Are we almost done here?” He asks the lady, who stands and wipes her hands on her apron.

“Yes sir, I just need to get a few tools to measure her and then you’ll be right out.” Thorin gives her a casual smile as she curtsies before moving past him to the main room. 

“You see? That is how you treat authority.” 

“Well you’re not authority, are you?” You snip back, crossing your arms with a huff, and suddenly, Thorin is in front of you, leaning down so close to you that you can feel his breath on your face. 

“Watch it, girl, I’m paying for you. You’re going to be with me for a year, and you won’t survive it if you keep acting like this. Catch your tongue.” You turn your face away from his, closing your eyes. 

“I’m sorry, sir. I don’t know what got to me, sir.” Thorin doesn’t move. “I said, _I’m sorry_ , can you please move?” He stays where he is, and you keep looking to the side, praying before the lady comes back and Thorin finally stands. 

“Oh! Was I interrupting something?” Thorin moves away from you and smiles at the lady. 

“Ah, no, just a lovers quarrel. She said that she would pay, but what kind of man would I be to let a lovely lady such as herself spend her money?” 

“Aw,” The woman coos as she sets down a tool of some sorts. “I wish that my husband would be like that. You’re a very lucky lady, you know.” She smiles and you and you give a strained one back, watching as she sets to measure your feet. How does he lie so easily? Thorin looks smug as you glare at him. 

“I am very lucky, yes. I guess I just got a bit upset at my dear husband there.”

“Ah, that’s okay, happens to the best of us. Well dear,” The woman stands, “looks like you’re a size eight. Will any shoes work for you?”  
“Uh yes-”

“A pair of shoes that can be walked in a long way. We’ve got some traveling to do to get back home.” The lady looks at you, and you nod. She gives another curtsy before spinning past Thorin, again, to grab your shoes. 

“Why are you doing this?” You ask, crossing your arms and looking us at Thorin. “Buying me shoes, and taking me to ‘travel with you to learn my lesson’. You’re not getting anything out of this.” Thorin chuckles. 

“Oh but I am.” You quirk a brow.

“How so?”

“Alrighty dear! Will these do?” Thorin takes the shoes from her a gives them a once-over.

“These will do fine. Thank you for your trouble.” The lady looks and you and then gives Thorin another curtsey.

“It’s been my pleasure.” She leaves the room and Thorin throws the shoes at you. 

“Put them on.” 

“Yeah, no shit, _sir_.” You slide the shoes on your feet and stand. They’re warm and comfy, the lining is soft and flexible. It feels like you’re still barefoot, but you can tell that the sole is thick and won’t wear down for a long time. 

“They fit?”

“Yeah.”  
“Good, lets go.” Thorin grabs you by the arm and leads you out of the shop, passing by the shop keep who frowns at you, but you’re pulled through the crowd too quickly to frown back. You and Thorin make a few more stops before you arrive at an tavern’s inn. 

“Why are we here?”

“I need to get my things.” You frown. 

“I can wait down here.”

“No, you can’t you’ll just try and leave, and then I’ll have to go through the hassle of getting you back.”

“You actually don’t have to do that.”

“Well, I’ve invested money in you. It isn’t cheap buying shoes.”  
“We didn’t even pay for them.”

“Yet another reason to keep you around. Now, you’re a criminal, and someone needs to watch you.” You glare at him while Thorin just looks smug. “Come on, I have a schedule to keep.” He starts the walk up the stairs and you stand still, watching him turn the corner, and waiting to here the bedroom door open so that you can make a break for it.

“You gonna wait there, missy? Cause I can give you a good time if you wanna come up with me..” You look over to the sleazy old man sitting at the bar. 

“No, I’m good. I was just going up.” The man looks you up and down, smiling all the way. 

“Well suit yourself, little girl. We coulda had some fun,” He knocks back a shot and you take your chance to run up the stairs, finding Thorin standing at the top of it. 

“Having fun?”

“Fuck you.” Thorin laughs and you sigh, folding your arms tightly across your chest. “Well? Are you gonna get your shit or not?” Thorin walks past you, a stupid smirk on his face. 

“Why? Are you eager to ‘have a good time’?” He mocks the man downstairs, laughing when your face turns red. 

“Shut up.” 

“Alright, alright.” Thorin unlocks his door, stepping inside, making no move to drag you in with him. You listen to the man downstairs, yelling about something or another, waiting as he gets dragged out of the bar. “You ready to go?” You jump at the hand on your shoulder. 

“You’ve gotta stop scaring me like tha- Is that a sword?” You can see the handle sitting high above Thorin’s head. The metal is carved intricately, laced with different strands of gold and silver. Gems bead the body of the handle, and you can see the that hand guard is shaped with some sort of iron, jewels beading that, too. 

“Yes, it is.” Thorin finishes strapping on his bag.

“Wha..who _are_ you?” 

“Nobody important,” Thorin replies casually as he walks down the stairs.

“Nobody important? _Nobody important_ ? Your sword is _covered in jewels_ ! You _have_ to be someone!” Thorin holds the door open for you. 

“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. Does it really matter?”

“Yes, it matters!” You say as you follow quickly behind him, trying not to be entranced by the way the sun glints off of the metal. You approach the stable just as Thorin is leading a horse out of it. “Why do you have such a fancy sword if you’re not someone important? Why are you even here if you’re _not_ someone important. Why are you here _at all_ with a sword like that?” Thorin holds out his hand and you absently take it, only to be swung up onto the horse with ease. 

“If I had know that it would be that easy to get you to follow me, I would have shown you the sword a while ago.”

“Hey, wait a minute-” Thorin heaves himself up onto the saddle behind you. “Where are we going?”

“Out of town.” Thorin reaches around you to grab the horses reins.

“I don’t - I don’t know how to ride a horse, Thorin.” He doesn’t listen as the horse begins to trot forward. With the stables to close to the edge of town, it doesn’t take long before you’re out into an open field, the town far behind you. “Thorin, I don’t know how to ride a horse, I will fall off.” An arm slide around your waist and Thorin tugs you into his chest. 

“There, better?” The horse goes from a trot to a sprint, and you shriek in surprise, grabbing Thorin’s arm to better stable yourself as you shrink into his chest. Thorin laughs, again, but you can’t find it in you to be annoyed, you’re too busy trying not to fall off a horse.


End file.
